To Desire & To Be Desired

17 Apr 2026·4 min read

I lay here in my bed at quarter to 3am, just me and my thoughts, and I can’t help but feel helpless at the thought of the asymmetry of desire. There’s this strong pull, much like gravity - the restless need to reach outward, to pull someone into orbit and hope they stay willingly. By contrast, being desired feels even scarier, because suddenly the spotlight’s on me and I’m being drawn in by that same gravity

aside

Set me free, leave me be I don’t wanna fall another moment into your gravity

I always did like the cover Alex & Sierra sang of this

It strikes me how vulnerable being desired really is - perhaps even more than desiring. The one who is wanted is laid bare, exposed to another who strives not just for their attention but for their whole person. Yet the one who wants must also lay themselves bare, risking rejection in the hope that their desire will be mirrored back.

It begs the question: do we desire only because we long to be desired in return?

To Desire.

I suppose the end goal of desiring someone beyond just ending up in a relationship of some sort is to have them desire you in return, be it your family and friends desiring your attention, company and recognition as much as a romantic interest desiring you as a person flaws and all. Sometimes we desire just to be in another’s life, wanting to matter to them, desiring that not only they just tolerate our presence but that they desire our presence in return. It is such a vulnerable place to be, it can be overwhelming not just to the desired but to the one desiring too, it takes much effort, time and emotion to desire a person. Just why do we desire, is it to fill a void in our person or do we just seek companionship as means to cope with existence. Once again I feel I must ask once again, do we desire only to be desired in return.

To Be Desired.

Being desired is quite fascinating. Some find it appealing, others not so much, to be perused and be the object of someone’s desire can leave one with a whole swirl of emotions. It can be flattering, frightening and overall a thrilling experience. The fear of being misunderstood, it looms over like a dark cloud on an otherwise bright sunny day.

“will they still desire me should they know the true me?”,
“am i worthy of this attention?”,
“do they have ulterior motives?”

Doubt, fear starts to creep in, and then it hit’s you. Could it be possible that they actually desire me as I am, flaws and all, could i actually return the gesture and not be burned. This, the difference between indifference to the one who desires us and a mutual desire in return. It is frustrating trying to figure out just what to do with the desire coming one’s way. I suppose the truest way of concluding being desired it to go full circle and desire in return. That brings me back to my question, do we desire to be desired in return?

To Desire and To Be Desired.

Perhaps it is strange thing to say, but it seems the two are little more than two sides of the same coin, like the gravity of sun keeps the Earth in place around them so does the Earth and every other planet sun in this elaborate cosmic dance. So do we desire to be desired, I cannot say with certainty. Even after all this pondering I am at a loss. I know this much however, I desire to be desired in return, whether to fill a void or find fulfillment. And perhaps that pull is we all share, a cycle of wanting and being wanted.

I now pose a question to you. Why do you desire?..